[One Shot] Sinner: tear Of gOd [English ver.] {JunRie}

Title: tear Of gOd [English ver.]

Author: Riz Aino

Pairing: JunRie (Rie + JunJi) (OnlyOneOf)

Classification: NC–17

Genres: AU, smut, pwp

Word count: 3k

Summary: there are times when JunHyung wonders whether or not what he's doing is the right thing to do.

Warnings: conflicts with faith and explicit sexual content.

Notes: wild Instinct part 1 behind photoshoot video appeared with Rie and JunJi lying on a bed and I couldn't stop thinking about this.

Author's comment: at first my idea was to do something a little softer within the genre, but I lost it while writing. I hope you like it.

 

tear Of gOd [English ver.]

 

You shall not lie with a male as one lies

with a female; it is an abomination.

Leviticus 18:22

( No yacerás con un hombre de la misma forma

que lo haces con una mujer; es una aberración.

Levítico 18:22)

 

            His left hand ran along the thigh of the boy who was sitting on him, with his knees on either side of his waist, unable to avoid it, going up and down it, feeling his fine white skin through the contact of his fingertips, touching him, sometimes digging his fingers into his flesh, grasping, unable to contain himself. His right hand was on the boy's waist, holding him, because sometimes he moved too fast on his body and there were times when, dizzy from the situation they were in, he lost his balance. His lips were too busy, being eaten by the boy above him, his tongue moving with his, panting in the other's mouth, his breathing ragged, ragged, more aroused than ever. And on him, making his penis on the verge of exploding with pleasure, enveloping him with his rectum, squeezing him, making him feel as if he were on the verge of entering paradise itself. His bodies sweating, too much heat accumulated in their bodies, in the room, their sighs letting themselves be heard, weak, quiet, drowned by the other's mouth.

 

            "JunHyung…" His name said by the boy's sweet voice, in just one breath, against his mouth. "JunHyung... touch me... ahhh..."

            "Yes..." he murmured, playing with the older's tongue in his mouth.

 

            JunHyung brought his left hand between their bodies, reaching the elder's dick immediately, catching it between his fingers, starting to move his hand up and down, while he felt more and more on the edge of the abyss. Their gasps were getting faster, louder, more daring, even though they were in a place where people could hear them, their kisses uncoordinated helplessly, ending more like a clash of lips, tongues and teeth than as kisses. He kept moving his hand, playing with that erect penis that didn't stop pulsing between his fingers, hot, sensitive, faster, at the rhythm that the oldest marked, moving on him, engulfing his dick over and over. Knowing it wouldn't last much longer, JunHyung moved his hand faster, until he finally noticed the other's trembling against his fingers, his semen staining his hand and their stomachs. A clear, angelic moan came from his lips, which stopped kissing his, and his body stiffened for a few moments before weakness took hold of him and he threw his arms around JunHyung's shoulders, pressing his face to his chest, staying still, chills from the recent orgasm still running through his body.

 

            JunHyung wasn't done though, although he was on the verge of it. So he ended up bringing his hands to his buttocks, helping him to start moving again, his lower half at least, over and over, up and down, faster, faster, until finally he felt how the fire that had been accumulating inside him, was finally released. His toes curled as his hands dug into the older's buttocks, squeezing hard enough to leave the mark of his fingers. A chill ran up and down his spine and JunHyung closed his eyes, enjoying that sensation, that ecstasy that led him to touch the sky with his fingertips for a few moments, before reality fell on him because he did it again, he had fallen into temptation once more, he had heard the whispers of the demon again and he had become a monster, an aberration.

 

             "You're amazing…" SungHo murmured from the gap between his shoulder and neck. "Oh my God… you're totally amazing…"

 

             JunHyung bit his lower lip at the mention SungHo had just made of God, trying not to respond to it because if he did, he would most likely hurt the older's feelings and JunHyung had never wanted to hurt him. However, in those moments, for once, he wanted to say what was on his mind whenever they were together in that way and the older one was mindful of God, even though he might hurt him.

 

             "I don't think it's the best thing to mention to God after what we've just done", he said.

 

            It was a barely audible whisper, but SungHo heard it perfectly because he slowly raised his head from his chest to look into his eyes, with those dark eyes in which thousands of stars were reflected and in which JunHyung could also see himself reflected, disheveled, panting, satisfied. He seemed surprised, a little disappointed by what he had just heard and JunHyung felt that he had to bite his tongue again, instead of saying it openly... but he hadn't been able to shut up anymore. He hadn't been able to shut up because that wasn't the first time they had slept together, that wasn't the first time that they kissed, that they loved each other, it wasn't the first time that JunHyung had impure thoughts about the older and, above all, it wasn't the first time after all that SungHo mentioned God and he felt bad, he felt dirty, he felt like the worst being in the universe because what they both did was wrong from the beginning, it was against God's commands and they mustn't even be doing it. They were both going to Hell because that night they were even spending the night at a youth camp organized by their congregation. Both were Catholics, both had been attending mass and activities of their congregation for practically always, there they had met, there they had become friends and, in the very house of God, they had their first kiss. From that moment, JunHyung had had regrets, he had felt bad, he had wanted to shout to the world that he was a sinner and that he needed to be punished for it, but he had always kept quiet, he had always kept quiet for SungHo, because when he was next to he forgot everything. He forgot to think, he forgot God, he forgot that when everything was over it would feel like the worst in the world, he forgot everything because the only thing that existed for him was SungHo.

 

            "I thought you felt like me", the older murmured, "even though we never talked about this".

 

            Bending down his head, SungHo rose from his body, stumbling a bit because his legs still shouldn't have regained mobility. JunHyung made the gesture to hold him, but he shook his head and finished getting up, causing them to stop being connected and the condom they had used to slip from his flaccid penis. SungHo shifted on the bed and carefully sat across from him, staring at him with those eyes JunHyung often got lost in. His lips were very red and swollen from all the kisses that had been given that night and he also had a small purple mark near the clavicle, where JunHyung had bitten in a moment of passion, something that he now regretted also because the next day they were going to be with a lot of people and they were going to do some sports activities with the children and if his shirt moved, everyone could see it and they would surely draw too many conclusions and there was too much gossip and bad words towards him.

 

            "JunHyung", SungHo muttered, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Do you want to break up with me because our relationship produces a great conflict between your feelings and your faith?" He asked, surprising him, because he had practically nailed it with how he felt, though not quite.

            "Not exactly…" he replied, swallowing hard because his throat had gone completely dry. "I mean… I don't want to break up with you, hyung", he said. "I don't know how I feel apart from being dirty and like a monster because I was the one who started it all and I ended up dragging you into all of this with me".

            "Silly", SungHo whispered, a fond smile on his face.

 

            JunHyung couldn't help biting his lower lip as he tried to hold back a few tears that had decided to make an appearance on their own after hearing the older one say that word in an affectionate way. A second later, SungHo's arms were wrapped tightly around him and pressed against his body and he couldn't help wrapping his arms around his waist, holding on even tighter to him.

 

            They had never talked about their relationship, not at least about the more important things, because it had all started suddenly last summer. SungHo had been rehearsing a song in the church after the rehearsal of the choir they both belonged to and JunHyung had stayed with him, accompanying him. SungHo's voice had echoed off the walls of the huge building, clear, beautiful, just like him, and JunHyung had had the urge to kiss those strawberry-colored lips when the boy had approached him after rehearsal, glad that he was doing well with the song he was preparing. He hadn't even thought about it. He had only kissed him over and over again in God's house that summer afternoon, while the older had reciprocated each and every one of his kisses. They talked. Of course, they talked, but only about that, about wanting to continue kissing, although not in the church, and the kisses had gradually increased in tone throughout that year. Kisses always given in intimacy, kisses that had sometimes been accompanied by their hands touching their bodies above or below their clothes until the clothes were completely left over and both had begun to explore their bodies, to play with them, to have sex. Everything had gotten serious between them in the last year and neither of them had talked about how they felt about it, even though perhaps he should've expressed much earlier what he felt after being with the older, how his his body adored that contact and how his mind denied it for all that it implied and for all that it attacked.

 

            "You know I love you very much, right?" SungHo told him and he nodded, still not feeling able to separate himself from his body because the moment his eyes fell on those of the older he was sure that the tears he barely contained were going to end up running down his cheeks. "I imagine it's still difficult for you to reconcile your faith and our relationship, but there is something I want you to know, JunHyung, so listen to me well. I don't think we are doing anything wrong being together... I mean... we have both read the Bible and many passages of it speak of how we have to love everyone, whoever they are, whatever they are, wherever they are because we are all children of the Sir", SungHo took a deep breath before continuing, "and it's true that he also says in many passages how same-sex relationships are an aberration, but I've always thought it was something done so that there would still be more and more generations to come… because if everyone was gay or lesbian, imagine it… neither you nor I would have been born”. Jun Hyung couldn't help but smile at that. "Also, if you think about it, if there are many passages prohibiting or demonizing it, it means that it already existed, that there were already men who slept with other men and that at some point before people had given a shake what they did or did not do.

 

            JunHyung couldn't help but nod slightly at those words. Deep down, he didn't know if he felt the same way as the older about it, or if all the times he had read in the Holy Scriptures or heard in the priest's sermons on homosexuality had penetrated so deeply that he was never going to feel completely comfortable being around SungHo and the last thing he wanted was to hurt him in any way.

 

            "It's... complicated..." he finished saying, separating himself from the older and trying to find the necessary strength to face his eyes. "I feel dirty, despicable... after being with you... doing it... but when I'm with you, hyung... I'm happy..."

            "I get it…" SungHo murmured, giving him a kind smile, reassuring him, letting him know that he understood what he wanted to say, that he wasn't angry or disappointed, even though he might have been confused at first. JunHyung was still feeling confused, though, and he didn't think he was going to get ready anytime soon because he had a lot to think about. "If you want, I can give you some time to think about it carefully, the pros and cons, the way you feel, I don't mind waiting for you all you need until you make up your mind".

 

            JunHyung's eyes widened at the proposal that the older had just made him and he felt something inside him tear at the sad look he had after saying that. No. That wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want SungHo to feel bad, sad, just because he needed to think things over and find an agreement between his faith and his feelings, as the older one had already done. It might be selfish, but he didn't want to part ways with him.

 

            He had spent too many years following the divine commands without questioning them, without thinking that there might be some things that weren't really correct or that couldn't be applied to the reality in which they lived. He had never considered that he could reconcile what he felt for SungHo, how his heart beat faster when he saw him, when he thought of him, how his day improved in an unimaginable way when he was with him or simply sent him some messages, how he smiled, how he adored him; with his faith and the teachings that had been instilled in him since he was a child. In fact, when the older man sometimes mentioned God after their encounters, he was always irritated thinking that it was because he was using his name in vain when he had already rejected his faith and that he just kept going to church, to sing in choir or organized camps for the youth of the congregation, to continue to look good to his family, the congregation or him. It had never crossed his mind that he could have reached that balance in which God and his commands still mattered to him, but only in what he believed was right and if he had doubts about their relationship or how he felt about he had solved it and it no longer hurt him. That was something he had to go through too… but he didn't want to do it alone.

 

            "I... I don't want us to have a break", he replied, sounding firm. "I love you... and I want to stop thinking that being together we do something bad".

 

            SungHo smiled upon hearing his words and JunHyung felt that this must be the right thing to do because his heart fluttered inside his chest as if there were a butterfly there.

 

            Without being able to avoid it, he approached the older again, straight to kiss his lips like the first time he had done it, without thinking about anything else that he wanted to catch those lips with his own. SungHo instantly reciprocated the kiss eagerly, moving his mouth in time with JunHyung's, both seeking to find the exact rhythm with which they felt comfortable. A slow, but not tortuous rhythm, in which their tongues sometimes met, brushed against each other, but without going deep into the other's mouth, without actually looking for more of the other than they were already obtaining. Separating just enough to catch air again, smiling against each other's mouth, sighing for more when they kissed again... JunHyung's heart couldn't stop beating rapidly inside his chest, happy, delighted with that, while little by little his mind was beginning to think that perhaps loving the older and sleeping with him was nothing so horrible, that he was not a monster for doing it and that, therefore, he shouldn't feel bad after it was all over and the adrenaline of the moment will leave him just as the orgasm overtook him.

 

            "I love you", he couldn't help but murmur against SungHo's lips, causing a smile to appear on the older's before planting a short, loud kiss, to walk away from him right after.

            "I love you very much too", SungHo replied.

 

            JunHyung smiled, gazing into those star-studded dark eyes that immediately turned mischievous. That night still had several hours left and he was sure that they would end up taking advantage of all of them despite the fact that the next day they had to be doing a lot of physical effort in the games that had been organized for the camp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Final notes:

—The author is very sorry that this story has been so moralistic, but I needed one that was of this style because I am using passages from the Bible as references to set the stories in this collection, if I had not made one in this way, I would not have never been in peace.